Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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