no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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