New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I need a beard to bite.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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