Fine. I'll sleep in my office
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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