I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
