I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
