This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
