I murdered the dance floor call the cops
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
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