I accidentally had phone sex last night
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
