I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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