I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
