we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
