the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
