i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
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