He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
