All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
