Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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