i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I look better un-naked...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
