Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
