well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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