drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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