12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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