my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
