Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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