Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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