Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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