I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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