Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
