he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
