I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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