after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
