wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
