so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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