Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
