call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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