My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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