Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
In America we eat man semen.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
