She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
After tacos, we're chasing women.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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