I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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