he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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