I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
