he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
