question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
