It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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