Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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