The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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