That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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