this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
