You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
