i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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