Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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