how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
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