in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Randomize
