do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
