think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
