Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
