I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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