I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I would ride that face into the sunset
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
